I met Scott a month prior to starting the blog. He had a great profile, was handsome and fit. I knew he was fit because he had body shots of himself at the beach. I was a little surprised at his age. He said he was 50 but appeared to be older—55ish but did have the body of a much younger man.
We met the first time for dinner at The Lion (very cool place in The Village).
He was an extremely fashionable guy—his clothes were sophisticated, yet hip. I loved his style. It was a great date. Scott was funny, interesting, well traveled and had an exciting job in the entertainment industry. After dinner he took me to a bar in his neighborhood. He was greeted like the mayor. After a round of drinks or two he showed me his apartment and rooftop deck. We had a steamy session of kissing and clothed touching. I knew if I didn’t leave I’d be doing the Walk of Shame the next morning. Scott was rather pouty when I told him we wouldn’t be having sex.
We had three additional dates and things, well, progressed. I liked Scott and although it wasn’t the epic love I was seeking (that indefinable chemistry wasn’t there for either of us), it was a good arrangement.
I sleep with one man at a time and (in the past) only in a committed relationship. Patty Stanger used to be proud. I didn’t want to be in an exclusive relationship with Scott. He wasn’t The One, but I did make it clear that I wasn’t sleeping with any other men. Scott understood that I was dating others and I assumed he was as well. He agreed that sex with one person at a time was the way he rolled.
Then the blog was born.
At least the concept was and I knew that I wanted to launch on January 5, 2012. If you don’t know why I chose that specific date then click here.
My daughters and I always were (and in lots of ways still are) a team. Our life was never about waiting for someone to help or hiring it done.
Christmas lights on our house? Sure, grab the ladder.
We’re moving by ourselves? Yep, I borrowed a truck. We can lift that armoire.
You want to be a pitcher? OK, let me put on the catcher’s gear and become a really good target.
Mom, you want me to hang the chandelier? Read the directions. What’s a little electrical work for a smart chick like you? (My youngest is an evil genius with power tools).
You want a wilderness vacation? Shit, but OK. I know how to camp.
So, it seemed logical that the three of us could design a website in two weeks.
How hard could it be?
“Fidel, this is more than we can handle.” My oldest calls me that often with the deepest affection. What mother’s heart wouldn’t swell when being compared to a brutal and ruthless Stalinist dictator?
“Oh bullshit, [snotty daughter’s name]. We can do it.”
During the website creation I was stressed and distracted and saw Scott infrequently but when we got together it was a lovely reprieve from the pressure I was feeling. He wasn’t exactly thrilled with the blog concept. It was an “in your face” confirmation that our relationship would not progress beyond what it was. I even showed him the rough drafts of a few posts I’d written in advance of the launch. He said it was way too much information to be sharing with the world.
Scott asked me out for New Year’s Eve. He had tickets to a very swanky event and I was looking forward to it. By December 30th the blog was still under construction and I was freaked out—the launch date was only symbolic, but critical to me.
I finally agreed with my daughters. We needed help and through some frantic online research I found Jami Howard. It was a miracle that she was able to get it all together, but within a few hours Jami had taken the reins and could meet my January 5th deadline.
Then a second miracle–the girls called me Mom. The eye rolling and their statements that included words like: psycho, lunatic, and insane had ended.
I realized it had been several days since I’d heard from Scott. With the holidays it seemed like no big deal and I figured he’d contact me with the details of our fancy date. I began to put an outfit together.
By the morning of New Year’s Eve I had still not heard from him. I knew we weren’t going out and I didn’t need to call for confirmation. I spent the evening with Dick Clark, Ryan Seacrest,
and a bottle of Veuve Clicquot Rose.
I got a text from Scott at 11:45 pm:
Happy New Year!
By then I’d finished the bottle and was doing a brilliant impersonation of Dan Aykroyd’s character (the Santa scene) in Trading Places.
“Ssswwuck you,” I slurred as I stumbled into bed.
It was January 5th and the blog was up. I got an email message from Scott apologizing for his lack of communication and congratulating me on my new endeavor. I was caught up in the excitement, but told him that his disappearance and lack of communication was rude. He apologized profusely and said it wouldn’t happen again.
We resumed our, um, relationship. I thought it was perfect.
And then it wasn’t.
Scott went into hiding again. He didn’t respond to my text or phone call. This time I was done.
Then a funny thing happened.
I got an email message through the blog from a woman who thought I might’ve dated Scott. I responded to her first and then had the following exchange with my Dance Away Lover:
I have no idea why you’ve disappeared again, but the reason isn’t important. If seeing me isn’t something you want to do anymore then a quick email or text would’ve been respectful.
I got an email yesterday from a woman named [redacted]. She wanted to let me know she’s enjoying the blog and heard about it from a guy she met online and is dating. I emailed her back and asked who the man was. Well, you know the rest. I told her you were a great guy and an excellent father–gave you a glowing recommendation. I hope if you decide you don’t want to see her anymore you’ll at least show her a little respect and tell her without just disappearing.
I do think you’re a great guy and it is puzzling as to why you continue to behave this way. No matter how busy your schedule has been with work a simple text is the least you should’ve done.
I hope you find happiness and love.
You are right and I apologize. Seemed to me the connection wasn’t there and figured you felt it as well. That coupled with a lot going on surrounding work made it a little crazy – but that is no excuse and you are right.
I find it strange [redacted woman’s name] reached out to you. I tell EVERYONE about the blog because i think it is great. I met her 1 time last week in NYC for drinks, that is it so dating might be a little strong but whatever.
Anyway, I do apologize and will consider this in the future.
I did feel the lack of a connection. I enjoyed your company–the sex was great–and I thought it would naturally transition into friendship when one of us met the right person. You’re a grown up guy, Scott, and ignoring my text this week as well as the phone call was a frat boy move and beneath you.
I’m annoyed now, but in a few weeks I’d like to be friends.
Done. No big deal and I hoped we could be friends.
Three months into the blog I got another email message, this time from Chloe, a woman who’d dated Scott briefly and he disappeared. She’d begun following the blog on Scott’s recommendation and was enjoying it immensely. We exchanged a few messages and found we had lots in common. We decided to meet for brunch to commiserate over our online dating experiences and I liked her immediately–I don’t like easily.
She went on one date with Scott and thought they had a great connection. He talked about all the things he wanted to share with her such as barbeques on his rooftop deck this summer. The following week she invited him to a black tie event she was attending. I told her that I knew he must’ve looked great in a tuxedo. She said he did that night as well as a few days later when she saw that he’d posted a new photo on his dating profile that she’d taken of him.
We admired his gall.
I was tickled when she told me he’d listed his age as 48 on the dating site.
She said that he followed up with a lovely email message after the event thanking her for a great night. She replied that she looked forward to seeing him again.
Then it was crickets.
Chloe and I went out for wine a week later. We started at Eataly, progressed to Vin Sur Vingt 20 and then finished with Terroir. Neither of us are big drinkers but we were having far too much fun. The blisters on my feet are still healing from our wine bar crawl.
We thought it was only fair to let Scott know of our new friendship. After all, he brought us together. I sent the photo below to him and our text exchange follows:
Hi from your ladies. Don’t ya wish you were out with us? xx
Would’ve loved to see his expression.
Here’s his response:
Clearly my promotion of your blog knows no bounds
Yep. You could say that. Does this story qualify as blog-worthy?
No comment. Lol
I decided it qualified. Thanks, Scott. Keep up the good work. I’m hoping for lots of new girlfriends. You have excellent taste in women.
“Nobody ever said it was simple to be a man. If it were, more guys would try it.” Hugh O’Neill
I’ve added something new to the sidebar called, “Things I’m CRAZY About.” These are not paid advertising, but things I love. I will add more when I have time–blog, blog, blog.