Fifty Shades Of Would I Do It?
I returned from my vacation to an Inbox with an impressive amount of messages. I’ve not been too popular lately so I was surprised at the surge. I deleted many, saved a few that were lame enough to be future blog-worthy and answered four that were interesting.
One was downright riveting:
Good Day,
I’m a fairly easy going male from Manhattan. Introspective, but still able to enjoy the silly things in life. I enjoy nature, Central Park in the summer, tasty food and good company.
Seeking someone intelligent and willing to explore the city and more. I have no particular agenda except to meet someone nice and hopefully make a friend that has the potential for a relationship.
And in private, you are open to exploring together, maybe you are in control all day and desire to give over control. Certainly not all the time but just seek just someone open to exploring our normal interests and private desires once comfortable.
If this strikes a chord love to hear from you.
Loved the “Good Day” (quite refined). And before I could say, “tie me up and spank my bottom,” I responded:
Dear Mr. Grey,
Out of curiosity, is this a Fifty Shades prompted fantasy, or something you’ve always been partial to?
Also, rather hard to see what you look like with the hockey photo. As appealing as it is to see a man who can still do that sort of thing, a photo of your face would be nice.
Best,
Melanie
Christian’s only photo was in full hockey gear—including a mask. Not exactly unappealing but I did want to see what he looked like.
Hi Melanie,
I can certainly share some regular photos -
not a fifty shades of grey item, been curious for a while
and not something that is a must but might be fun to explore the
dynamic. Sort of hard to bring into the equation later on.
Thoughts?
Christian
My response:
Christian,
Hmm, I appreciate your honesty. I’m not sure how I feel since it isn’t something I’ve ever done. Frankly, I’ve been trying to muscle through the book–a difficult task. The writing is pretty bad, but what keeps me trying is Mr. Grey. The author does an excellent job of making him irresistible.
Perhaps we could start with a photo or two and go from there? Next, maybe a cocktail, coffee or simply a phone conversation? I’ll certainly try to keep an open mind to future exploration of the dynamic if the chemistry is there.
You can send the photos to: [redacted email address], if you are so inclined.
Melanie
I don’t know if I would be willing to explore the dynamic but it was intriguing. My first husband loved to say I only read trashy novels to escape the mundane life I was leading. Wonder if it ever resonated that my humdrum world might’ve had something to do with our marriage?
I’m still fighting to get through Fifty Shades of Grey and it is ONLY to find out why Christian is “fifty shades of fucked up.” The writing has me cringing and it’s not a good sign when I’m editing a book while I’m reading. I never like to publically criticize any author and normally I’d just toss it. BUT, there is no doubt that E L James has done a brilliant job of creating a character (Christian Grey) so intriguing that I continue to struggle through each annoying “Oh my” from the ever-irritating Anastasia Steele, just to learn more about him.
As I’ve mentioned before, I did attend a class on bondage at Babeland—an adult toy store in SoHo. And they did give gift bags to journalists.
I still have mine.
Here are the items that were in the goodie bag:
Satin bondage kit—ties and blindfold:
Spank Me Baby, spanking powder:
The ties and blindfold were easy to figure out, but the spanking powder had me stumped.
Here’s how it’s described on the Babeland website:
Smooth your lover’s skin to set the scene before a spanking, or soothe it tenderly afterward with edible Spank Me Baby powder. This sweet, edible powder forms a light dust over the skin, making it perfect for licking off the body; try powdering yourself after a shower, and let your lover have a taste anywhere they like. Best of all, Spank Me Baby is made with natural, non-toxic cornstarch. Perfect for spanking aficionados and newbies alike; makes a great bachelorette or party gift, too!
Um, it sounds messy.
I’m all about having fun in the bedroom, but I’m also practical. I’d be the one with the vacuum cleaner and the red caboose.
See what happens when you get old?
So I waited and frequently checked my Inbox. I admit I was fantasizing about a gorgeous man with “unruly dark copper-colored hair and intense gray eyes.”
OK, an age-appropiate version of that guy.
Finally the photo arrived.
I guess anything short of Mr. Grey-perfection would be disappointing and this guy was kind of geeky—skinny to boot.
Not in a hot professorial bookworm-ish Dr. Jones sort of way:
Christian was more Revenge of the Nerds.
Sadly, the fantasy was over. If a guy is going turn me over his knee, I don’t want to worry about breaking it. I don’t want to outweigh the man (he was 5’7”) who’s supposed to be able to pick me up. This guy might slip a disc or have a hernia rupture if he swept up all 135 lbs. of me. I also want to believe he means business. Christian looked timid and a little awkward in the photo. I don’t want to be the cheering section of, “Really teach me a lesson!”
If I’m going to even consider it I want to imagine a take-charge man orchestrating the scenario. With this Christian, I might’ve had to wear the leather and hold the crop and that is something I know I will never be interested in exploring.
“I don’t know whether to worship at your feet or spank the living shit out of you.” E L James (Christian Grey)
I completely agree with you about the way the book was written! (But who am I to judge…………? She’s got the millions/billions$$$$) I’m not kidding when I say that I read 3 pages of the book and threw it in the trash can……….couldn’t believe the style of writing. So lame. I didn’t even give the book to anyone because I felt that doing that would be an endorsement of it. The appeal of the book, in my opinion, is that it is written by a woman who describes what many women fantasize about finding in a man—-but could never get in the real world. They say pregnancies are happening as a result of the book………..but I wonder how many lonely, bored housewives are thinking about divorce so that they can go find the exciting, greener grass that the book portrays. (Every woman who reads “50 Shades” should have to read this blog next–it will bring them back to earth.)
Jo, I agree. The book gives women an escape–I do that all the time with a book. I think I read that the author was one of those bored housewives you mentioned. There is something to say about the fantasy getting a healthy dose of reality. I certainly had that experience. Thanks for your comment–thoughtful as always.
My older son actually forbade me to read 50 Shades when I mentioned the book to him. Vehemently forbade me!! Oh my!! I’m with you Mel, a little domination would only work with a real man. And your photo choice amuses me because my BF looks like an older version of Chris Hemsworth. (in my mind at least!). He has shown no tendencies to dominate thus far..
P.S. Make sure you have the book on the coffee table when Keenan brings you your jam! Haha!
Keenan is always cramping your style. Wonder why he doesn’t want you to read it? Is it because it’s poorly written or the content? You are so right about your boyfriend. He does look like an older version of Chris Hemsworth! Lucky you! Thanks, Kristine for your comment and I’ll get that book on the coffee table posthaste for Keenan’s delivery!
Let me just tell you, girls. A little S&M can certainly spice up your sex life but it is gosh darn scary when you are naked with a man who is physically bigger than you and he whispers in your ear in a low growling sort of tone, “I know you just want me to hurt you.” (Try finessing your way out of that one without killing the mood.) Please understand that this is far from implying that if a man physically smaller than you said those words unexpectedly that it would be less intimidating but bondage (or whatever “tickles” your fancy) and he parameters thereof should be something agreed upon before you hop in the sack.
Mary, that comment from your lover was a little scary! I agree, boundaries and safe words must be established ahead of time–at least that’s what I’ve read
. Thanks for sharing!
Completely agree with you re: 50. Awful writing and if she said “My Inner Goddess” one more time I was going to shriek!
I had to respond to one on line profile talking about wanting to dominate, but it was subtle enough to make me curious. 50 has created so many wannabe’s.. His response was low class. Then he Blocked me when I responded that any woman with class would tell him what to do with that thought! Do men not get that it is about sensuality, not vulgarity?
Sigh! The search continues!
Loved this blog, we missed you and so glad you had a great vacation!
Kim
Kim, the inner goddess comments make me cringe every single time! AND, could her inner goddess be a bigger idiot? Lose the IG, Anastasia! It’s interesting that you’ve noticed that 50 has created wannabes. Although the guy who wrote me denied it, I have to believe that’s exactly the case with him. Thanks for your comment and I’m happy to be back!
I don’t know much about this book except that it’s popular. I’m not one to confuse pleasure with pain, and if I ever wanted to “dominate” a woman both emotionally and sexually, it would be to make sure I’m the best damn friend and lover she ever had. So much so that she craves my very being like a crack addict! Without writing a book myself about how this is accomplished I’ll just say that maybe this guy was the inspiration for “50 Shades”.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marquis_de_Sade
I’d like to be craved, too. Not sure if to the point of a crack addict, but craved for sure. Thanks for the comment, Mitch, and the link. Yep, the Marquis de Sade was one kinky dude.
I tried to read the book on account of all the hype, but just couldn’t make myself go past page three because the writing was unbearable. There is soooo much better erotic lit out there. I cannot figure out why this book made it past the tipping point. And moreover, I kinda thought most people did a little bondage, spanking, role playing, the pain/pleasure principle, etc, or at least experimented with it in their youth; however, now that people are talking a lot more about it all due to “that book,” I’m discovering what I assumed was a pretty average sometime aspect of a varied sexual relationship is perhaps not so average after all, and yeah, that shocks me some! Anyway, welcome back and keep the stories of those dates and emails coming.
R.J., I must be living a sheltered life. I’ve not experienced the pain/pleasure principle. I thought I was fairly worldly in the bedroom, but you are my new hero! I agree about the erotic lit. I’ve read some and 50 Shades pales. The reason I keep trying to finish is Christian Grey. I have to give the author huge credit for creating him. I tend to believe he’s the only reason the book is so popular. Thanks for your comment!
Melani,
Like you, I made an attempt to get through 50 Shades of Freakness simple because of they hype. It is possible the worst piece of writing I’ve subjected my brain to in quite some time. Plus Crazy Grey, I mean Christian Grey, is the most arrogant, controlling piece of work I’ve ever come across. Some of my friends couldn’t put this book down (to each his own) but on the flip side many more of my friends couldn’t wait to use it as kitty litter. I’m with the kitty litter crowd and I don’t even have a cat! I don’t get the hype. I can’t believe thousands upon thousands upon thousands of women out there would ever want to be naked in the same room with this freak. I know more women who would love to string him up in his own torture room, force feed him tofu, veggie burgers and green tea and read every Elizabeth Gilbert book ever written until his ears bleed while sipping a very dry dirty martini and listening to John Mayer! That, to me, sounds like a fun evening!
I can hardly wait to see how men are going to react. I’m sure they think this is what every woman in American has been waiting for her whole life! God help us!
Karen
Karen, you are hilarious! John Mayer and Elizabeth Gilbert had me laughing. I’m somewhere in between “can’t put it down” and “kitty litter.” For me it’s all about Christian Grey. I know, I know, he’s a mess–but I do like a complicated man–and perhaps one who wants to spank me regularly is a tad too complicated. Thanks for your comment!
P.S. Mitch, I like your definition of domination. That’s what I’m talking about and that’s what I’m looking for! If you want to read some interesting erotica, I suggest John Cleland’s book entitled “Fanny Hill or, Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure”. This book was banned from publication in the US until 1966. Or how about “The Red Leather Diary” by Lily Koppel. These woman could teach Christian Grey a thing or two. And it wouldn’t be about domination, pain, torture or any of that other BS.
I think I’ll have another glass of wine and head to bed with Siri. At least my rechargable friend knows my boundaries!
Karen