Finale
Today I canceled my subscription to Match.com. I’ve kept the website I was on a secret until now but that’s where I’ve been for the bulk of this year. I’ve also joined OkCupid, OurTime, eHarmony, and HowAboutWe, but Match was my favorite. With the goddamn fiascoes I’ve experienced that’s not much of an endorsement but I’ve written fewer posts this year about men on Match than the others.
I’ve struggled to write this final piece. I’ve had many friends ask if I’ve written the last blog post and they usually follow with something like, “I’m sure it will be great.”
That’s a lot of flippin’ pressure and I put enough on myself. Now my pals will feel like crap. I’m happy about that.
I’ve stopped and started this so many times. I have eight different versions saved on my computer and it has to be because this feels a bit like a death, this ending.
I’m grieving.
Not because I’ll miss online dating.
Not a chance.
My angst comes from ending something that has been my primary focus for a year. I’m a creature of habit and not a fan of change. Honestly, in the future if someone mentions that a celebrity has been dead for a while and I had no clue, I’ll say, “They died in 2012, right?”
I know, all this focus on a silly blog that hasn’t earned me a penny. But you have no idea how much this has meant to me. What started as simply creating something that I was looking for (and couldn’t find) has transitioned into this amazing thing that’s changed my life. Conventional wisdom would say that I’m crazy to end it now with the success it has been–that I should go on for another year. Make it TWO years of online dating at 50. Hmm, I don’t think so because even though I’m sad, there’s no doubt it is time to move on. Seriously, I’m sick of online dating and I’m tired of being such a bitch. It just seems that there’s an unending supply of idiots, but correcting their mistakes or teaching them a lesson was never the goal to begin with.
I can say with outright clarity that I’ll never be online again. Instead I’ll be kicking it old school. I’ll meander through life and if I run into Mr. Perfect For Me in some random setting (like an airport bar) and I’m without shapewear or mascara, oh well.
Last week I received this email message:
Hi how are you? I see you lived in Russia. That must have been exciting!
Sven
Here’s my reply:
Hi Sven,
We actually went on a date about a year ago–a quick one. You spent most of the time trying to put batteries in some sort of charger you had just purchased.
You had no interest in me and I never heard from you again. I had just signed up for this site.
I made a commitment to try online dating for one year. That is up in a week or so and I’ll be off this site. Kind of ironic that you would be contacting me again now since you were my first online date–it might even be funny.
Melani
And he replied:
Melani
I apologize if that was me but I am not sure it was. I do not remember meeting and a year ago I was seeing someone. Could it be that you have me mixed up with someone else?
Sven
And I clarified:
Hi Sven,
I don’t think I’m mistaken about you, but perhaps I’ve got the timing wrong. I was on Match originally for a couple of weeks, got disgusted and removed my profile. A few months later (with some encouragement from friends) I signed back up and committed to a year. Maybe we went out in that first two-week time frame which was about 4 months earlier than the year.
Here’s what I remember–you decide. You selected Le Pain Quotidien near a park (can’t remember which one, darn it) and we got a drink and sat in the park. You told me that you worked for [redacted] in some capacity, but I can’t remember your position. You had just purchased some sort of charger from a pharmacy in the neighborhood and you struggled to get it open and working. The bulk of our date was spent with you fumbling with your purchase and after a while of rather stilted conversation, I ended the date. I sent you a text thanking you and you responded with something that was polite but essentially had a “take care” sort of feel.
I am sure it was you, but if you have a doppelganger and I dated him, let me know.
Melani
There’s nothing that screams, “Stop the madness!” quite like being forgettable. How crazy is it that my final online contact is with my first date? How hysterical is it that he didn’t even remember we went out? Well, it would be
hi-lar-i-ous
if someone were telling me the story, but I do admit that I constructed a couple of snotty responses each beginning with, “Dear Lurch,” (yep, he was super tall and rather odd looking in person). But, in the end I decided to take the high road. After all, he wasn’t intentionally telling me I was unmemorable.
AND at least we didn’t have sex—didn’t even kiss on the cheek.
Whew, imagine if he’d forgotten that? Fetal position with the accompanying rocking would be the most I could muster if that were the case.
So, what now?
Here’s what I’ve decided. I’m going to continue to write/blog about the things that interest me: 50+ dating, being single in New York City and searching for true love. I’ll be doing just that on the website www.melanirobinson.com where I’m gloriously free and no longer limited to online dating experiences. I’ve also decided to do some vlogging. I have my first amateur video in the can (don’t be pervy) in preparation for the appearance on The Steve Harvey Show that hasn’t aired yet, damn it. It will eventually and I’m ready for anyone new who might visit www.1yearofonlinedatingat50.
Before I get all forward motion-ish, I want to thank all of you for following this quest. Those who’ve been here from the beginning—family and friends (forced to read it), as well as those who discovered the blog a bit later. I’ve loved all of your comments and email messages. As I’ve answered, I hope I’ve clearly expressed how grateful I am that you would take the time to write. This may sound ridiculous but I’m attached to all of you. You feel like dear friends after this time together. I’ve felt you rooting for me, scolding, shaking your head, smiling, laughing and occasionally crying.
Mostly, I’ve felt your support and that means the world to me.
I’m going to take a couple of weeks off before starting the new blog. If you would like to sign up for updates then you’ll know when I’m back. I promise to do my best to keep you returning for more. Now that the blog won:
it’s my goal to win again in 2013–such a competitive pain in the ass.
Thank you, again.
With gratitude, love and a wad of soggy tissue,
Melani
“There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.” Frank Herbert
Melanie,
I have so enjoyed going along for the ride with you and I will miss reading you in this forum, but I am also really glad that you’ve decided that online is not it for you anymore (I haven’t been able to get up the nerve or something for that) and you will be looking for a partner in other ways. I’m about to turn 50 in a few weeks and it has helped me feel less alone to know there are other brilliant, dynamic, creative women out there who are looking, who are not giving up and who won’t settle (I’m not talking needing 100% Mr. Perfect, but I think you know what I mean). Sending you tons of best wishes.
Deborah
Thank you so much, Deborah! Happy birthday a bit early! I know you’ll rock your 50s. I do know what you mean about not 100% Mr. Perfect–just perfect for you, right? That’s what I’m hoping for, too. Thanks, again for the amazing comment. You made my day!
Hi Melanie…. It’s Debbie in Columbus, OH – we’ve emailed a few times. I so enjoyed your blog this past year and looked forward to each and every new post (love your sense of humor~!). I will miss it, but will definitely be following your new one. I know you will do well in whatever direction you choose. Perhaps we could meet up for a drink the next time I visit my son in Manhattan (Upper West Side) – would love to meet you. Wishing you the very best for the New Year:)
Hi Debbie! Thanks for the delightful comment. Please let me know when you’ll be in NYC–I’d love to meet for a drink. I’ve enjoyed your messages and am glad that you’ll be joining me on the next leg of this adventure! Thanks, again!
Wow. Didn’t actually think your blog would only last a year. Sob! Never gave the time frame much thought, actually. Just thought it was a cute and descriptive name. As you know, I found your musings insightful, touching, relatable but mostly hysterical. I can’t remember how many people I told about your adventures. Some were interested, some bemused but their reactions didn’t matter to me. I knew the truth! I’m sorry that you haven’t met the right person. But I’ll add the word “yet”. From my own experience, the dynamics of a relationship change after the blush of youth, marriage(s) and raising children to be responsible young adults. People tend to become settled in their ways, habits form, etc but if you come across someone who ignites your interest and passion, well we’re all teenagers again! Maybe your doorman can hook you up! hahaha. I’m sorry to see this blog vanish, but I’ve already i-macro’ed MelaniRobinson so I can keep up with your adventures in the bumper cars of life…
Yep, Mitch, it is a literal blog title. Good to see a comment from you again. Wasn’t sure if you were still with me on this journey! Good to hear you’ll be following along for the next chapter. I’ll do my best to keep it entertaining! Thanks again, Mitch.
Too bad I don’t live in NYC. (I was raised in Binghamton though.) We’d fall in love! At first sight!
Anyway, all kidding aside, good luck. You deserve.
Thanks, Mitch.
I have loved your blog, Melani, will keep reading our new one.
Linda, thank you so much!
Hi Melani! It’s a bitter sweet feeling knowing that you’re closing this chapter of your dating adventures. I’ll certainly miss all the inevitable laughter and yes, TEARS!! I was one of those feeling every one of your emotions right along with you. You’re a gifted writer and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for letting me (well, I suppose everyone else as well) into your life in such an up close and personal way. Although I continue to date online, I always take insanity breaks from time to time when the online dating abyss becomes too much to navigate. It’s funny, just the other day I was cleaning out my email files and stumbled on some of our exchanges. I feel bonded to you through our common experiences and love that I have a friend in NYC that I hope to meet someday! I’ll be keeping up with your new writings and “I’m sure they will be great!” XOXO
I know, Debbie. I feel the same way. You do have a friend in NYC and I have no doubt we’ll meet up one of these days! I certainly hope so because I think we would have lots of fun. Thank YOU for following along and always having the most encouraging things to say. I am so grateful for the friendships that have occurred as a result of this blog.
Can’t believe a year has passed, I am really going to miss your online dates. You are a brilliant writer and I will definitely continue to read your blog!
Aww, Dovie, thanks for all the kind things you’ve written all year long. You’ve also made me laugh a lot!
I will so miss this blog Melani, but look forward to continuing to read your work. I can not believe the year is over, and so looked forward to your next installment of on line dating experiences! I laughed out loud, forwarded to friends saying “get a load of this date she had” , and even had my new beau lean over to me and say,,” what is that dating woman in New York up to lately? ” We met on line, so he felt that kindred spirit as well with you.
Good luck in all you do, and I will keep reading! You are awesome and look forward to the day you tell us, your fond readers, that you found that one perfect for you!
Kim from Canada!
Aww, Kim, that is the nicest comment. I love it that your new beau asks about the woman in New York. Excellent! Thank you for your support but I would expect nothing less–you’re Canadian–best people in the world.
Melani, I’ve enjoyed your blog so much! Good luck with everything. For what it’s worth, I met Mr. Perfect For Me about 3 months after I stopped looking. All best to you.
Yea, Theresa! You’ve just stated what I hope will happen to me. I think once I stop looking I may start finding. Thank you so much for your comment and for following this crazy journey.
I am so happy that you will continue to write. I love reading your stories and am rooting for a very happy ending – that is – you finding the perfect person to continue your journey with. I am also rooting for this culminating in some sort of a writing career for you. Keep up the good work. You have many supporters out here.
All the best,
Ellie
Thanks, Ellie. You are a good friend!
Gonna miss you here! But, I think you’re gonna do swell. Have you thought about doing a novel – your voice is excellent, and frankly, I would enjoy a witty, sarcastic, cynical yet warm and hopeful take on being a single woman in her 50′s in NYC. (You have a touch of Fay Weldon to ya in your voice). And, okay, I want to know. What ever happened to Hugh?
Thanks, RJ. I have thought about writing a novel but I’ve never written any fiction. I’m actually considering a class on fiction writing at the New School. it starts in a couple of weeks and I may just register. Thank you very much for the “touch of Fay Weldon” comment! I wish! Now, about Hugh. I was in Las Vegas for a week then I got really sick, when I was feeling better, we went on one more date and it was great. Then he got sick and then the holidays. Nothing else but if you follow the new blog I will keep you in the loop if something else occurs. Thanks for your tenacity on the things I fail to clarify and thanks, again, for your encouraging comments.
You’re very welcome. And I would totally encourage you to take that class (for purely selfish reasons – I’m serious about thinking a novel in this blog voice with all the heart-felt subtext, such as what you wrote about your daughters and Neal, and trying to “make it in the city” as a new comer at 50 is something I’d like to read. There are lots of books about 20 somethings coming here, but I can’t think of a one about a 50 year old woman starting over here).
I like the way you think, RJ. I’ve taken writing classes at The New School and have always been thrilled with the experience. AND, there are lots of, um, students who see wrinkles when they look in the mirror. I’d like to try to write a “coming of age” novel for my contemporaries. Thanks, RJ!
Melani,
I am signed up and ready to enjoy your new blog! Glad you kept the look of the old one, it looks even better with your name as the title. Enjoy your break and talk to you soon.
Thanks, Kellie! Glad you like the new website! I will enjoy the break and then I’ll get busy again.
Melanie, I’ll miss your blog! I’ve been living the same scenarios but in Seattle. By the way, Pete is great fun and we see each other frequently. Also, I do have a fantastic guy that I’ve been dating now for two months and we met online on Plenty of Fish so it is possible but sure took a lot of trials to get here. The new guy does not like to tell people we met online and has equally strange stories to share.
Good times!
I will be checking out your website regularly!
Rosie
Rosie, I never tried Plenty of Fish but I’m glad it worked for you. Pete is great fun and I’m glad he’s become your friend. It makes me smile that the blog has connected people who would never have met. Please check out the new website. Thanks for the following along!
Experiences… Disappointments… Craziness… Adventure…
Melani, I have definitely enjoyed sitting in the back seat over the past year. At times, I wanted to whisper in your ear, ‘Don’t put up with that Bulls..t. At other times, I wanted to yell out – way to go girl!!!
First. compliments on your award – it was well deserved. Your willingness to share a sliver of your life out there in the blogosphere was an absolute hoot. Second, I hope you find Mr. Right – I’m sure he’s out there, although obviously he is being somewhat difficult to find.
Good luck and I’ll be missing you and the adventures of Melani.
Ha, Rod, I think I heard those whispers! Thank you so much for your wonderful comment. It made me smile.
Melani,
I’ll miss your adventures and the manner in which you spun your stories. Good luck with your next step and be sure to include us for the ride!
All the best…Pete
Thanks, Pete. I enjoy hearing about your adventures, too. Keep me in the loop on your ride!
Hi Melani…it’s Dana in Tulsa and I just can’t believe it has been a year since I stumbled upon your blog but what a bunch of fun it has been! I’ve had so much fun reading of your exploits and sharing some of my own. I’ve given up on the online thing too…yikes…it is just too weird and exhausting. I agree with the reader who said the old fashioned in person way is the most fun…flirting is a dying art but I intend to stay happy and optimistic about love.
Congratulations on your award! I will be following you on your site.
Regards and red wine!
Dana
Thanks, Dana! Yep, it has been a year–hard to believe. “Weird and exhausting” is the perfect description of online dating and I’m with you about staying happy and optimistic about love. Some things just can’t be manufactured and Internet dating (in my book) is one of them. Oh well, we tried. Thank you for always making me laugh with your comments and I can’t wait to hear from you again in the future.
Melani,
It has been a lot of fun reading about your dates, the good, the bad and the ugly. I laughed mostly and even gasped at a few of your mishaps. Above all it was entertaining for this reader.
I look forward to your next blogging/vlogging adventure!
I am hooked and will continue to read/view your work.
Thanks for a delightful year!
Cheers!
Thank you, Mary. Good to know I made you laugh AND gasp. Even better to know that you’re hooked! You have a wonderful 2013 and thank you so much, again, for your comment.
A grand finish to a jewel of a blog-although do jewels make one laugh until one cries? Your stories have done that several times. As I am traversing the same waters and hoping not to get stranded, your adventures have been an inspiration. I will definitely be a frequent visitor at your new site
Sapphire
You are a jewel of a reader, Sapphire! I’m glad my adventures have inspired you and I somehow doubt you’ll every get stranded. Good to know you’ll be visiting the new site. Thank you for the wonderful comments you’ve added to this blog.
Greetings Melani,
Count me among the faithful who will follow you in your future online endeavors. Your blog has brought me great comfort – through my own relationship woes. We had a brief email exchange that still encourages me. I’m happy to say that these woes (and incompatible men) are behind me.
Truly, I wish you all the best -
Sharon
Hi Sharon! We sure did have a wonderful email exchange and I’m glad to hear that incompatible men are in your rearview mirror. Whew! Thank you for continuing to follow and also for your well wishes. Back at ya!
Thanks so much having done this — I’ve lived vicariously through it — wanting to date so much, but am a single parent of teenagers and all their challenges, time is not with me, yet. So, so glad you revealed the dating sites you used, as my new year’s resolution is to get out more. Meanwhile, all the best in your future. You are an inspiration (although I wouldn’t post so many stock photos going forward as it can under mind your beautiful written voice).
Thanks, Sara, for your lovely message. As a former single parent of teenagers, I do get how challenging it is to get out there. Sometimes it’s just a solo glass of wine at midnight when the house is quiet that seems like a party. Keep me updated on your New Year’s resolution!
Hi Melani;
Thanks for your humor !
I’m so glad I found this site and it is current, not happening years ago like some I come across. I have really enjoyed it and looked forward to reading at the end of every day. I just started reading last week. I do DVR Steve Harvey Show and will look it up if it aired. I was starting an online profile but am moving and don’t want to commit to it yet! You helped me feel that saying No is Ok, and to be true to myself when answering any contacts like you have. My last 7 yr relationship he ended abruptly almost one year ago, and I’m still licking my wounds from it. I am 54 starting over again but I’m not alone I see
I’m happy you found the blog,too! Sorry to hear about the abrupt ending of your relationship and the licking of wounds. That sucks–no other way to put it. I’m glad the blog helped you be true to yourself. That’s really all we have, right? Good to know there will be a friendly face watching Steve Harvey. Thank you for taking the time to comment, Dawn. To read the things you’ve written means the world to me.
Melani,
I am so sad that your mis-adventures have come to a close and you are ending your posts. I am so sad because of all the internet dates that I have been on, I have never met or run into someone with a sense of humor, class and wit that you have. Your posts of the last year are what has kept me going. You are the one reason I have not given up hope to find a mate through internet date sites. All I seem to attract are lunch ladies living in trailers with a story that starts with “He ran off with my cousin, took the dog and the trailer… that bastard!”
Sure, Grand Rapids Michigan isn’t NYC but come on now, there has to be “the one” out there somewhere… Anyhow, sure wish that I was on Match in NYC this past year. Thank you for the great read this past year. The two things I learned from you this past year was never settle for mediocre, and if it is meant, it will be.
Have a great 2013!
Matthew
PS- I did sign up on e-mail for updates from your new site for when you get it up and running. Rock on girl, I am looking forward to the new website.
Thanks, Matthew, for the wonderful comment. You had me laughing over the cousins, dog and trailer. I think there’s one lucky woman in Grand Rapids just waiting to meet you and I’m happy to hear you’re not setting for mediocre. Why the hell should anyone? I’m happy to hear you’ve signed up for the new blog. Thank you for that. There will be a new post tomorrow, the 18th after the Steve Harvey show airs. I’m dishing all about that. Happy 2013 to you, too, and let me know when you’ve met “the one.” Thanks again for the great comment!
Melani,
I just watched your vlog. It was great especially your out takes. Maybe you could do a segment for men and women called “what to do if…” People could post questions to you. An example would be; What is a guy to do if… I showed up at the door to meet my internet date Sara and a woman answers the door looking like she could be Sara’s grandmother and I asked “Is Sara here?” and she responds “that’s me”. Obviously her pictures on the dating website were a bit dated, say by two decades. What should my response be? Had that happen to me once and I did not know what to say. I went out anyway to be polite and her whole life was one misconception. I was there was an internet dating “time refund” where I could get thiose two hours of my life back!
Or here is another one I lived through… “what to do if”…. He meets a woman at a coffee shop for a prearranged half hour meet. On her profile was the cliche “Live, Laugh, Love” tagline with interests that included “summer breezes, poetry, butterflies and sunsets on the beach” etc . Well after spending a whole five minutes with her all she did was rant about how the horrible service was and how the waitress is ignoring her and the shitty parking. The only question she asked me in those five minutes was if my name was Matt. In well less than two minutes I realized that the “live laugh love” person was the angriest person I have ever had five minutes of coffee with. It was bailtime. How do I do it politely? Just a few suggestions for topics. Internet dating could sure use a referance guide or a “Dear Abby” where you could get a great laugh or sound advice on internet dating. Anyhow you looked great today on youtube. You carry yourself well. Love your honesty.
Matthew
Great idea, Matthew! I seriously think it could work. Your stories are hilarious and I’d love to give my response. What do you think? You could be my first “Dear Melani” vlog. You have made me laugh!
Melani,
Yes I do have plenty of stories… too many. From the date with the closet swinger who I wasted so much time writing back and forth with to the married lady it seems like a never ending battle to get to the truth. Once I went to pick up a lady named Sativa (she got her name from her hippy parents). I knocked on the door and a man answered the door and asked me to come in. I stood in the foyer of this nice home and made some small talk with the man named Irvine. She came down from upstairs and as we headed out the door she gave Irvine a kiss on the cheek. As we were walking to the car I asked Sativa what her relationship was with Irvine… she says matter of factly “Oh him,.. that’s my husband”. Needless to say she never made it into my car. I can’t remember how many Budweisers I had when I got home. The fact is that the truth is always stranger than fiction.
I also have heard many horror stories from women on sites and in person. One story was absolutely terrifying and her ordeal went on for hours as this woman was stalked relentlessly that night. Everyone has a skeleton in the closet. Some are large, some are small. It can be an ugly world out there, people on internet date sites need to know that finding genuine, truthful suitors can be challenging at times, excuse me, most of the time. On the internet anyone can be whoever they want to be until proven legit. One thing I cannot stand is when a profile has a long list of prerequisites that must be met before contacting the person. Some of these prerequisites rival U2s contract to play Madison Square Garden. I stay clear of those. I also stay clear of the “never been married” crowd. I may wear a scarlet colored D on my chest from my one divorce fourteen years ago, but the D doesn’t stand for difficult. Never been married at fifty years old screams difficult, but hey, I could be wrong.
I see that you have decided to delete all of your profiles at date sites. I guess all in all I liken internet dating to the Christmas classic, Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer. In the cartoon, Santa goes to the island of unwanted toys to take them off the island and bring them to loving little girls and boys and by doing so makes the toys feel wanted again. The only way off the island is Santa’s sleigh (internet date sites). That’s why I haven’t given up in three years of dealing with people that don’t know the meaning of the word truth. Some get jaded and quit… but I think it just makes it harder to get off the island.
Melani, I think that you would make a great host for vloging about the good, the bad, and the ugly sides of internet dating by taking questions from your audience and passing on advice from them. You have a great sense of humor about you. Sorry for my long winded ramblings here. Have a great day!
Matthew
OK, Matthew, you’re on! I’ll devote my next vlog to how I would handle the two situations you described in your initial comment. I’ll come up with a “Ask Melani” sort of theme. I think it will be fun. I’ll work on the video this week and will post a link on the melanirobinson.com website. Thanks for the suggestion. Now, on to your new comment and those dates. You had me laughing! Jeez, I guess I’m not the only one who’s had some wild experiences. The truth is surely stranger than fiction, in online dating for sure. Thank you so much for sharing. There’s nothing long winded about a comment that includes the stories that you told!
Hi Melani, I just started reading your blogs from start to finish on Friday!! Yes…I was interested in learning about what its like dating at 50 (just turned this year and been single for 3 yrs) and stumbled on to your website. I started online dating in November and honestly have been truly discouraged but after reading all your blogs I realized “I’m NOT alone”!! You made me laugh til tears were streaming down my face. I have found a very special someone since (yes, online) and look forward to this journey of dating and what it will bring. I will continue to look forward to your new blogs and laughing til tears are streaming down…wish you the best in 2013 as you deserve it!
Thanks, Georganne! Happy to hear you found the blog and even happier that it made you laugh until you cried! You are not alone, that’s for sure and I’ve heard from women from all over the world. It seems to be the same no matter the locale! Thanks for taking the time to comment and especially for reading the blog from start to finish is such a short time! Whew, how are you eyes feeling? Happy 2013 to you, too. I hope to keep you laughing in this new year!
It was a fun year following your dating scene. I’ll keep following on your other blog, you’re very entertaining. In a good way!
Keep on rockin’!
Thank you, Scott. Good to know you’ll still be with me on the new site!
Dangit, I wish I would have found this blog a year earlier, I’ve read a few of the posts already and am hooked! Good luck in your post-online dating world
Thanks, Tyler! No reason not to just start at the beginning in the Archives and read it as if it were happening now! I’ve been known to read the last page of a book in the beginning! Thanks again.
All good things must come to an end–my devouring of your blogging adventures included. I’m a sporadic Steve Harvey show viewer and just happened to catch the episode that you appeared on, but instead of watching I hurriedly Googled your website. Most (blog) sites are set in descending order so unknowingly, I read your “Wedding Bells” post the day I witnessed you, First Born and Baby on the set with Steve. Of course, I was sort of confused wondering why Steve was making it such an issue that you had been hard on the hundreds of men you dated when evidently it ended in wedded bliss. Duh! Reading is fundamental. Weeks later I understand the chastisement. Needless to say, I have a tried and true method to blog reading–if I find one interesting enough I always! go to the archives and start fresh from the beginning. Itsort of gives me a chance to see how life has unravelled for the writer (I’m a huge fan of creative non-fiction, memoir, personal essayists works). Needless to say, I have had your web page open (like I never ‘X-ed’ out of the window on my iPad since seeing you on the show) and have read your blog entry-by-entry until the end (time stamp of today’s comment). I’ve proudly passed along the link to a dear friend who in turn told her hairdresser about it. When my husband asked me what I’ve been reading during my waking moments I told him, “This great e-blog-book from a Steve Harvey guest. She is gonna be famous for her writings and soon-to-be-published memoir!” And I’m a bit of a nerd, coupled with bibliophile and fragmental writer that has met my share of authors in real life–so I felt a connection with you because of our “similar” life assignments. One day I hope to carve out a “niche” to share some of my writing, but in the meantime I don’t mind being enamorued with other writers who have taken the next step on their life assignment–write for the public to read it, be critiqued, rejected, praised and placed on the NY Times Best Seller’s list. This is my hope and prayer for you, for our kind. I wish you the best on your journey and I will now subscribe to your mainstay website and I look forward to your new journey. May the universe conspire to meet you in love and your endeavors!
TIFFANY! Oh my god, thank you so much. You have no idea how much your comment means to me. I’m truly written-word-less. I had to get a tissue. Thank you for taking the time to read the blog, for recommending it to others and for sharing your beautiful and generous wishes. I am deeply touched.
I’ve enjoyed your blog so much (recommended to me by a hairsylist in Austin). I’m 53 and dating (online and old school). I have had a generally positive experience with OKCupid (less so with match.com).
It got fun for me when I relaxed and started just enjoying the process…meeting all kinds of guys, and not caring if they’re “relationship material”.
Best of luck to you!
Thank you, Sharona, and thanks to that Austin hairdresser!
Melani,
I will miss your blog so much. Besides the hilarity at which you can tell a story, I felt like if something impressed you then it can impress other women. For example, I never thought a woman would enjoy playing pool or going to a dive bar. SInce you said that you did those on dates and enjoyed them, then I figured other women I date might too. And they did. SInce you are the type of woman I wish to attract, then if something gets a thumbs up from you, then it is worth adding to my toolbox.
Not sure if you can do this, but maybe a section with all the links to the great restaurants/bars you went to? In your posts you always included a link. It would be great if those links were in one section. In a way, you became a quasi Zagat’s for me. Again, if you liked a particular restaurant then other ladies would too. And they did. Good luck to you and look forward to your future posts.
John, you made me cry. When I started this blog I did it for women close to my age who were going similar experiences. I wanted them to know they were not alone. What I discovered is that I had a strong female following with women of every age. That was a surprise–my twenty-something daughters don’t think I’m a bit interesting. An even bigger surprise was the amount of men who followed the blog. Your message perfectly sums up why. I’d love to see a blog about online dating written by a man–a brutally honest guy. Thank you so much for following along, recommending the blog to friends and for always having the nicest things to say. I will miss you, too. I do hope you’ll check out melanirobinson.com when you have time. Thank you again, John. It’s been my pleasure to write for you.
Well OK, I think you have had enough time off. Get back to work. (smile)
I’m missing you girl, I find myself laughing at the things you have wrote, and sharing with my wife about some of the things Gram said. Good Luck, and God Bless You and All Your Love Ones.
Thank you, Noel! I’m happy to have made you laugh and I’m sure my Gram is enjoying the attention, too! I’m back to work on melanirobinson.com, blogging away. Vlogging, too!
Just saw your blog article in the Huffington Post (a friend from UNLV posted in on FB) and of course I skipped to the end blog. Bummer I was hoping to read you have a big diamond ring on your finger. You’re too funny. I take the train into the city (Chicago) everyday. I’m going to have to read from the start. Congrats on your award !
Thank you, Cindy, and thanks to your friend from UNLV!
Melani,
I discovered your blog on Huffpost and proceeded to spend (waste sounded negative) an afternoon doing nothing but reading it. Mostly I was intrigued by the fact that my wife is turning 50 in 3 months, and we are not having an easy time in our marriage. We had kids late (they are in grade school) and we seem to have lost our connection. Too busy; not enough hours in the day; too tired, etc. Reading your blog, I guess I expected to find some epiphany about why I am with my wife, and how lucky I am that we are both still alive and together. What I found in return is that we are all just people making our way through life, each with our own story, and that I feel sincere empathy for you about losing Neal (sp?). What I took away the most, perhaps, is that you are just a person who was deeply in love with him, and the two of you had a wonderful gift, and fate changed your direction. In a strange (read: unintended) way, you now get to reach out to countless people and tell the story of your experiences of dating at 50, but we know that you would trade all of this in a moment to have him back. It’s really the lesson all of us should take from your experiences. Thank you for sharing. I sincerely wish you every opportunity to find within yourself another chance to be in love. -Jim
Jim, thank you for your insightful and heartfelt comment. I so appreciate you taking the time to write and share your thoughts. You made my day with this one. Thank you, again, so much.
Time flew!
good luck and wish you the best.
Thanks, cc!
I hope you keep a positive outlook on finding your true love/soul mate. With an open heart and clear mind you’ll be in the best state to find and recognize the one for you!
Best wishes!!!
Thank you, Don!